BacksideOfLove.com - Spanking stories, books, magazines - Adult Ageplay stories, books, communities (like Guardian Island) / Domestic Discipline - Intimate Ageplay - D/s (Devotees of Adoring Discipline, ageplay, punishment, discipline, spanking, daddy mommy diaper age play schoolgirl discipline OTK)

click for BacksideOfLove.com's home page

Dear Carolyn: I love the thought of the kind of man you write about but I'm afraid of losing "me" by giving someone so much control over me. Like what if I'm in a sad mood when he says I should be punished and what if I just would feel way worse about something to be punished. My mom would think I was just being abused if I ever had any kind of marriage like you write about. What's the difference? I mean, how do I make sure and not lose ME if I give all that control up to someone else?

Dear reader:

Far be it for me to consider myself any type of expert on these matters, but I'd be glad to give you my humble opinion.

I can understand your concern about losing yourself in this type of relationship, but, if your guiding SO (and I use that term as an all- encompassing term for any dominant, be he or she a Daddy/Mommy/Master/husband, etc) truly has your best interests at heart, then he/she won't let you do that regardless.

Daddy's said to me, several times, and I agree completely, that it's truly the submissive in a relationship who has all the power, and is really the strongest component within the relationship. What your guide does or doesn't do MUST be based on what is best for you - whether it's a looser, more permissive style or a more restrictive relationship, it has to be what YOU need. If you need a strict bedtime, or just someone who makes sure you get to work on time, you have to be able to recognize your own needs and communicate those to your partner.

This is not an easy thing to do, but the ability to do is bespeaks a strength that I think alot of submissives don't even realize they have. It's this strength of character, this self-knowledge, that will help keep you - along with the gentle but firm guidance your dominant provides - from letting yourself slip away.

Of course, your guide's attitude is of paramount importance, too. He or she should support this side of you. The essence of submission is strength, and your partner should be looking to use the trust and faith you've granted them to fortify your innerself, not beat it down. I think that's an excellent test of whether or not the person you'rewith, or are considering being with: do they build you up, or tear you down?

Not to discount your Mother, but I'd be much more interested in knowing if YOU feel abused after you've been lovingly disciplined? Your guide's judicious, conscious, adoring application of the control you've entrusted him/her with should always leave you feeling the better for it - whether its an awful, horrid, half hour spent bawling your eyes out while he paddles your bottom with your own hairbrush, or his gentle insistence that you take your vitamins and go to bed at a time that will assure that you're not dragging at work the next day.

True adoring discipline should feed your heart and soul (and his!), and make you feel stronger - very loved and cared for. Someone has to love you very much to watch over you closely and make sure that you're doing things that are good for yourself. It can't be easy to commit to the idea of reducing the person you love the most to tears when necessary, but a loving guide will do so with no hesitation, becauase he or she has the safety and welfare of your heart in mind in everything he or she does.

Hopefully, your mother (or anyone else whose opinion you would worry about) would see how happy and loved you are within your disciplinary relationship.

I know mine do.

~~Carolyn Faulkner

The Thornton Brothers trilogy: Lose yourself in the stories of three lusciously dominant, but wonderfully caring brothers – A.J., Beau, and Cade Thornton. Opinionated and stubborn to the core – all of them – but if there’s one thing they can all agree on, it’s that their women need more than the occasional firm hand applied to their nicely rounded derrieres.

Pro Bono! Complimentary Spanking Romance Classics ™ novels to thank our loyal readers! Download free copies of Carolyn's KEPT and THE GOOD MAN now, with our compliments!

KEPT!: [free download!] Who said being a dominant Sugar Daddy was going to be easy? Self-made millionaire Reed Douglas wanted a woman in his life, but he didn’t have the time for even the barest of social rituals. Tricia Barton flew down to spend some time with her cousins after the death of her mother, hoping a change of scenery would help her slough off the remnants of depression. She never expected to have her life turned upside down by her cousin’s undeniably hot and very dominant boss who didn’t hesitate to suggest that she let him keep her in a style to which she’d like to become accustomed!

The Good Man: [free download!] A throbbing bottom makes settling down a lot easier for a wanna-be city mouse! Life in 'The County' hadn't changed much in decades, and Emily Robertson wanted much more out of her own life – despite the fact that that meant leaving Daniel, the man her heart so desperately wanted. But when she ended up back in the same small town they'd grown up in, Daniel takes complete advantage of an enforced encounter to lure her back into his arms – and he wasn't going to let her go again, for any reason!

All Of Her: Nate is a defender of the country, a loner who brought himself up from struggling in the streets to excelling in the military, and pretty much everywhere else he set his mind to.

Macy comes from solid Middle America, and for the first time he's tempted by strange thoughts of family and home -- and she by the strange appeal of his firm ideas about the home and family that'd be best for her... And firm hand that doesn't hesitate when a trip over his knee would keep her safe and happy while they build that life.

Depths Of Desire: A bright, adventurous young woman dreams of travelling to the Western frontier, but in the late 1800s, young women were expected to be neither bright nor adventurous. Despite the contentedness she sees in her mother, whom she knows is spanked by her father when need be, Mary Rose thinks she’s looking for independence, and the opposite of what her parents have.

But heroes come in strange packages out West, and she’s not long there before a rough-seeming package finds reason to put her over his knee. Once she realizes he was right, she’s faced with a strange compulsion for someone (and something) she thought she’d never want in her life…",

Northern Belle: A veteran cop who's secretly wished for a white picket fence instead of his bachelor apartment, but been more afraid of failing at marriage than he is of the rough streets he patrols, becomes entwined with a headstrong woman who's returned to the small town of her youth. With help from her local family members, he starts to learn what makes her tick, but will she thrive with a set-in-his-ways guy who's not above paddling her if it's For Her Own Good, and can two such strong-willed people actually share that white picket fence together?

New Carolyn Faulkner Adoring Discipline novel: Piece Of Heaven. What do you do with a man who has a terminal case of PMS? Sarah Jenkins isn't sure she wants to find out. She is damn sure that she never wants to give him cause to spank her again... kiss, yes, spank, no...